'Do You Remember?'
Winner of the 2014 Lillian Rose Troy Poetry competition
Winner of the 2014 Lillian Rose Troy Poetry competition
Do you remember the rose I bought on our first date, the way you smiled
as you smelled the petals?
Our weekly walks along the seafront we called ours? Collecting shells and eating ice-cream?
Worrying about meeting my parents? Though the loved you from that first moment?
Losing your veil as you walked down the alter? Allowing me to look into your eyes as we became one?
Do you recall finding out our two would be three? The joy on our faces as years of trying ended?
Cuddling him for the first time, knowing that the pain and sickness had brought us a healthy son.
The sleepless nights, the tiring days, the way he smiled when we called his name?
His first school uniform, his lunchbox in hand as we took him to the gates and waved goodbye?
I can recall how time became more precious, a scarce commodity in a family home,
How dinner times were our sanctuary, when we would talk, and smile and laugh,
How James went from infants to juniors then secondary, and all the changes that brought.
How we talked through our problems which could have broken us, but made us stronger
The return to dating when University claimed our son, those walks once more along the beech,
No longer young and carefree, but calm, serene, appreciating more our time alone
The trips to the cinema, the popcorn, drinks and debating the story, we never could agree!
The weekends away, you with your culture and my love of the countryside and wildlife?
Most of my fondest memories are with you and because of you.
I remember each one, maybe not as it was, but how I imagine it to have been
I hold dear those images of us, changing, maturing, growing old together
Of the way we have shaped each others lives and created a son to be proud of.
I only wish you could remember too, see what I see, feel what I feel.
But you can’t, for they have been stolen from you
Demensia, such an ugly word that chokes in my throat, for more than any thief
It has stolen the thing most precious to me
And so, memories we used to share, to remember together, are mine alone
Only in my mind do they live, only I can bring them back to life
So every day I try to make you remember too, talking and reminiscing
As you look at me blankly, often not even remembering who I am.
Except for those increasingly rare moments when you smile, when recognition returns,
Sometimes just for the briefest of moments, but those moments are enough,
Enough to keep me going.
Our weekly walks along the seafront we called ours? Collecting shells and eating ice-cream?
Worrying about meeting my parents? Though the loved you from that first moment?
Losing your veil as you walked down the alter? Allowing me to look into your eyes as we became one?
Do you recall finding out our two would be three? The joy on our faces as years of trying ended?
Cuddling him for the first time, knowing that the pain and sickness had brought us a healthy son.
The sleepless nights, the tiring days, the way he smiled when we called his name?
His first school uniform, his lunchbox in hand as we took him to the gates and waved goodbye?
I can recall how time became more precious, a scarce commodity in a family home,
How dinner times were our sanctuary, when we would talk, and smile and laugh,
How James went from infants to juniors then secondary, and all the changes that brought.
How we talked through our problems which could have broken us, but made us stronger
The return to dating when University claimed our son, those walks once more along the beech,
No longer young and carefree, but calm, serene, appreciating more our time alone
The trips to the cinema, the popcorn, drinks and debating the story, we never could agree!
The weekends away, you with your culture and my love of the countryside and wildlife?
Most of my fondest memories are with you and because of you.
I remember each one, maybe not as it was, but how I imagine it to have been
I hold dear those images of us, changing, maturing, growing old together
Of the way we have shaped each others lives and created a son to be proud of.
I only wish you could remember too, see what I see, feel what I feel.
But you can’t, for they have been stolen from you
Demensia, such an ugly word that chokes in my throat, for more than any thief
It has stolen the thing most precious to me
And so, memories we used to share, to remember together, are mine alone
Only in my mind do they live, only I can bring them back to life
So every day I try to make you remember too, talking and reminiscing
As you look at me blankly, often not even remembering who I am.
Except for those increasingly rare moments when you smile, when recognition returns,
Sometimes just for the briefest of moments, but those moments are enough,
Enough to keep me going.